My eulogy for my mom.

My mom died on July 10, 2015, some 8 years ago at the age of 66 from breast cancer. And it’s only now that I’m really able to speak about how incredible this woman was. This was the eulogy as delivered. RIP mum.

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Hello, my name is Christopher Pepin-Neff, though I know my mother would like me to introduce myself as Dr. Chris Pepin-Neff.

I would like to thank you all for coming here today to celebrate the life of Barbara Jean Pepin-Neff.

In particular, I would like to thank and acknowledge the Pepin family, the Neff family, the Bacon family and the Feighy family. I know my mom would be deeply touched and embarrassed (and wondering how much this is all costing) to have you all here today.

I would also like to especially and publicly acknowledge my mom’s long-time companion, friend and partner in crime, Jerry Bacon. My mom and Jerry knew each other for 53 years and she loved you very much Jerry. You are an important part of the family and she would want all of us to rally and support you.

And I know for all of us, this is a deeply sad day.

But rising through the sorrow of this loss is the grace of God and a deep and powerful gratitude for having known a women who was so loving and shared that love everyday.

This was a happy, vibrant, fun, smart, quick, funny, determined, adventurous, insightful, loyal, caring, brave, intelligent, beautiful, and courageous women who did the right thing — not because it suited her, not because anyone would know, but because she was guided by her belief in God and his belief in her. And we celebrate her life today as a mother, daughter, cousin, aunt, sister-in-law — a water-skier, cheer-leader, post-service worker, pitch player, Patriots fan, penny-slots expert, coupon-cutter, yeard-sale lover, life-long Republican, Barry Manilow fan, Hallmark channel movie buff, accordion player, traveller, and a very good friend.

I have to tell you that on the point about her being a moderate Republican, she drove me to vote for the first time in 1996 and I remember since it was my first vote the whole house had decided we were voting for Bob Dole in the primary. So, we voted and my mom was quiet on the drive back, then she turned to me and said, “don’t tell your father, but I voted for Steve Forbes.” She was going to do things her way. And her way was something special.

I have few examples that I would like to share from her life that highlight the women I am so proud to call my mum. A woman whose life and legacy is that every time she got knocked down, she decided to give back:

1.) When my mom’s father (Grandpa Leo) died of colon cancer, the medical bills were extremely high so my mom got her first job. She began to work in the family store that they ran to help pay the bills. The year was 1955 and she was 7 years old.

2.) When my twin brother David died, my mother turned the deeply personal tragedy — that could have broken anyone — into something that could help others and she began counseling parents in the area who lost their children.

In fact, I asked her recently how she got through losing a child and she said, “You get as close to God as you can.”

3.) When my mother was diagnosed with MS and could no longer get paid work at the Post Office — that did not stop her. She started volunteering at the soup kitchen in the Methodist Church in North Grosvenordale to help the poor.

4.) When Thanksgiving and Christmas came around — a busy time for any family with 4 children — my mother would volunteer for the Salvation Army (which my Grandmother — Virginia Pepin ran) and we would cook turkeys at my Grandma’s house and then we would drive around town delivering them on Christmas morning and Thanksgiving day to the elderly who couldn’t cook for themselves.

5.) When it got cold in the Winter — and near Christmas, Mary Fischer — the long-time principal at Thompson Elementary School would give my Grandmother a call and let her know about students that she thought needed help. And then my mom would drive out at night to look for these families. She would got out in the woods and knock on strangers doors and offer to give them a hotel room for the night and presents for their kids Christmas.

6.) And when she was slowed and using a walker in recent years by MS, she moved faster and travelled the most she ever had in her entire life. She bought a house with a pool in Florida and orange trees so she could invite her friends and family down to visit. She went up and down the entire East Coast twice a year, in planes, in cars, and in jaunts to Atlantic city with Jerry. The last 6 years are the happiest I’ve ever seen her. You can see this in the pictures around this room.

7.) And when she was first diagnosed with cancer — a moment that would grip any of us. She thought of her children.

Simply put, she gave love because that’s all she had to give. And that is the mark of someone who is walking with the Lord.

This was a rich, beautiful, adventurous life that continued from her first days to her last days. The same woman who was a competitive trick water skier and wanted be the top of the pyramid around Quaddick or Webster lake was the same women who wanted to try on leather jackets just this past Christmas. So, we went to the store in Florida and we did a fashion show at Bells department story asking everyone what they thought of the three options.

I want to end now by noting three things:

First, and most importantly. By saying how incredibly blessed I am to have had her as my mum. The thing in my life that I am most proud of is being able to say that I am Barbara’s son.

Secondly, she taught me so many great lessons. The most important was unconditional love. She just loved. I remember I once accidently ran over her heel with a shopping cart at the Price Chopper in Webster and she was black and blue and could barely walk — but I had been pestering her before the accident, so she drove me to get a cheeseburger at the Burger King on the way home. I was crying and she was being amazing — but also planning.

Which leads me to the second lesson, which was to be smart. As I cried, my mom turned to me and said, “do we have any ketchup at home?” I said no. When the woman came to the window my mom said, “Could we please have extra packets of ketchup?” — and she got two handfuls. My mom had a grin the whole way home.

And very lastly, some people measure a life by what they do. My mom, Barbara Jean Pepin-Neff, should be remembered for how she did it. By facing difficulty and giving back with love.

My mother is now in heaven and at peace. Having been greeted by the Lord in the most loving and peaceful way a few days ago. She is now playing the great pitch game in the sky with Grandma Pepin on one side and Aunt Ruth on the other. Grandma Neff is making Pepperidge Farm sandwiches for everyone. And my twin brother David is laughing as my mom smiles and takes them all to town.